When I started Kansas City Recovery men’s sober living, I knew how I wanted it to function and how I wanted it to feel. But I wasn’t exactly sure how I would make that happen.
You probably don’t hear this often, but my early sobriety was a blast! I connected with a group of people and we formed our own sober army. Our goal was the same, get and stay sober. Our path was the same, following the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and working the steps. And our vision was on point to have as much fun as possible while we did it.
This was one of the greatest times in my life. We functioned as a family. A family with a healthy, and completely inappropriate, sense of humor. We went to recovery meetings together, we were active members of our group, we watched weekly shows together at each other’s houses, we cooked dinners together, volunteered in our community together, and we learned how to live a recovery lifestyle together.
We were so busy having fun we forgot how serious getting sober really is.
And because we were having fun, getting sober didn’t feel like a chore.
Sober Living Foundation
I thought about my early sobriety and the elements that built such a strong foundation for me. It was connection, community, service, and fun. And I built my sober living around those core principles.
Please, do not think this was easy. Getting addicted people to do ANYTHING is like herding cats. Especially in new sobriety when we are undisciplined, unsure, and uncomfortable. But I was determined. And I am not someone easily deterred from accomplishing what I want.
This is where family-style dinner comes in.
Sober Living Family Dinner
It is not only important to me that the guys in the houses are connected with each other, but it is equally important that I am connected to them as well. Sober living without solid leadership is unstable and I vowed that I would always actively participate and lead our community to be strong, healthy, and stable.
When we first opened there were only a few of us. I did not ask the house mates to do anything I wasn’t willing to do. They are required to attend recovery meetings, and I attend recovery meetings. They are required to participate in Community Group on Sunday evening, so I attend Community Group on Sunday evening. Lead by example and foster good habits and strong sobriety through action, not words.
To further strengthen that connection and leadership within the houses, we do family dinner once a month at each house. I say once a month, the truth is these guys have dinner together all the time and they coordinate that on their own because they like to spend time together. The importance of family dinner to me is that the guys have a responsibility to coordinate the dinner, have it ready by a certain time, and for me to get to sit down with everyone and break bread.
Family dinner is a time we connect as recovering people and we talk about our lives and our journeys. We troubleshoot different events happening in our lives and we get guidance from one another. We laugh, we share, and we bond as people who are in the most vicious fight of our lives with no idea how to live and cope and survive.
This is a part of each house that I look forward to every month. It’s such a blessing to have a group of people who are smart and strong, and who are willing to go the extra mile for their recovery. Being a member of Kansas City Recovery sober living comes with more responsibility than other sober living environments. We are an organization based on creating a higher standard of living for ourselves, being more present and connected, and challenging ourselves to work harder and be better. We are not an organization that fosters doing the bare minimum to scrape by, but a place where we push ourselves to do more and break our own barriers.
“Extraordinary, not average”, is what I say to them all the time.
There is nothing more powerful than recovering people coming together as a family and conquering addiction together. We are support, acceptance and love, with a lot of laughter and fun.
Together, we recover.